apes

My previous template is not working properly so I decided to change it. For the meantime i will be using this template. I hope i will find time to work on my new tabulas page or if someone can fix it for me. : )

apes

Magsusulat Galore sana ako today kaso me pupuntahan pala kami ng nanay ko.Manonood muna kami ng Miss you like Crazy...

I miss you like crazy!u

apes

The last time I wrote about something was a year ago and in fact my last post was so much older... I had always wanted to say something in my page but i guess i never had the time. Now, i just feel like writing....

Lots of things happened and before I could even write about it, new events already happened. Now I don't know which story to start with... everything seems pretty much interesting for me! So let me just sum it up and missed out some details so my page won't be so boring

Last year was like a rollercoaster ride for me. Supposedly my year ( i was born year of the ox) apparently not. Confrontations and the like happened a lot. I meet new people. Lost some. Said goodbye to some. I had been reconnected with my old friends back in Elementary and highschool and even my close college buddies. I had my share of lies and finding the truth.  Courage and bravery got tested in ways I had not expected. Trust, betrayals. Win some lose more. Debits, credits. (accounting?)

Best place I've been last year was Pagudpod. Been to Vigan, Tarlac, La union, Laguna. Twice I've been to a place I have never been, alone.  Recently, I've been to Tagaytay where I had two great discoveries. 1. "Bulalo" is beef. My whole life i thought it was pork. 2. Tagaytay is in Cavite not in Laguna. 

I am planning to go and visit my birthplace this year, sometime in September.

I want to tell more but I need some sleep....

Till here, hoping I can write again next week.

apes

January 30, 2006. The day you left me without warning. How can I ever forget this day when you made it a point for me to remember it all my life… Nothing could have shaken me that way. No one has sent me to panic your mother did. When she called me up from that unlisted number… When she informed me about you… You never realized how disastrous it was for me. It pained me in a way I would never thought possible. It was almost impossible for me to find the way to recovery, if such term applies.  I don’t know if hating you or hating myself or other people would be the best way out. I never found out. I was such in a limbo of misery and denial that I could not even bring myself to face the truth. For such along time I did not have the courage to accept the fact, talk about it with somebody else and move on. You know, I will never pour my heart out to anybody, no matter how close the person is. You were the only person who’ve seen me and that is making it so much harder for me to forget you.

Three years have passed. Perhaps, I am really such a great pretender that no one has ever noticed that I am only shattered pieces, dancing with the wind, finding a place where I can collect my main parts and grow the missing pieces…

Will the time come when I can smile every time I remember you? When will that be? When will be the time that I could only remember the happy memories we’ve made together? Will that ever happen…? But why is it when I thought of you I can only feel pain… for how can it be otherwise, when your mom had told me everything but this…that in your last moments in this world you were only thinking of me. That your last breathe was used in making a request, which would forever linger in my most vivid imagination. That the last words you utter were “Tell Kea I love her.”

apes

Am I responsible? That am not sure of... but i do dislike people who cannot fulfill their responsibilities. Why promise things if you can't do it? Why say words you can't stand to? Why commit on something you can't do. Why decide on things and not be accounted for the consequences? We can always blame other people for our own mistakes... There are billions of excuses that we can think of and besides what's the use of the word "I am sorry". Yes, even if you've used it for the nth time it's always effective especially for those people who care for  you.

Way back in HS, i was third year then, I was nominated and elected as a President of our class. I was bossy and domineering even back then. I was sitted at the middle and my desk was pushed back a little so as to see everyone. The wall behind me hung a big poster of a Gorrilla, hence the name "Apes". If you were one of my classmates and i want you to sit next to the door, you will. If I want you alone, you will be isolated. As for our teachers, only if they cannot make out what i am up to for doing such things, they'll come around and ask me. No big deal, I can always reason out with things. Who gave me the right to do that? I have given myself the right to act like that. Along with my imperfections, my classmates had realized that I can make things happen for the group. If they have any issue with anybody;teacher or fellow student, they know that I can sort it out for them. If they have something in mind, an important suggestion perhaps, they just need let me know and boom! They need to go out of school even before the end of the class, they know i can do some "magic paper" for the guard to let them out. I'd like to say that I did my job and so they had let me enjoy my privileges. The catchy part of this was, at the middle of the school year, the same time that Erap was impeached, I resigned too. Naah, there's no Arroyo or Davide counterpart.